Popular relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has warned men against marrying women he describes as ‘liabilities’, arguing that such unions impose a heavy financial burden rather than fostering a true partnership.
In a series of posts on his official X handle on Sunday, the cleric advised men to set standards and serious criteria when choosing a wife.
The cleric’s remarks have ignited an intense social media storm, particularly as he labelled the trend of women exclusively seeking wealthy suitors as ‘unbiblical’, noting that such a transactional approach contradicts the spiritual intent of marriage.
Pastor Okonkwo wrote, “Men, it’s high time we start having standards as well. You guys are too used to women who are liabilities. That’s why less and less men desire marriage; they see it as a burden.
“Men set standards like you won’t marry broke women too, that you want a partner and not a dependent, maybe it will make more women work and not see marriage and dating as a poverty alleviation scheme.”
Pastor Okonkwo, “The current system is not only unbiblical but also damaging society. Women brazenly insist on rich men. I think we also insist on working women who will contribute.
“Yes, I know some of you men like the needy, hungry and dependent women because it boosts your ego and helps you control women, but it’s doing more harm than good. All humans have value and abilities; let them develop them.”
Public reaction remains sharply divided, while many Nigerians have lauded the approach as a necessary wake-up call for the modern economy, others expressed strong reservations, arguing that such preaching undermines the biblical mandate of men as the primary providers.
An X user, identified as @edolefty, clarified that the term ‘liability’ refers to someone who lacks value and instead drains it, noting that offering value in a relationship extends far beyond financial assistance, encompassing emotional, intellectual, and domestic contributions.
She wrote, “Let’s unpack this. If a woman without money is a liability, then a man who needs his wife’s salary to afford marriage is also a liability. What you are preaching isn’t standards, it’s men looking for wives who will split bills and still perform unpaid wife duties. Less and less man are not just desirous of marriage, less and less women are rejecting these men who have refused to grow beyond seeing women as “liabilities” when this narrative suits them.
“It’s ironic because many of the same men pushing this idea still expect the woman to cook, clean, raise children, manage the home, and be available emotionally, while also bringing a salary. So she must provide two incomes and free domestic labour, or she’s a liability. Or is that not what you are really saying : that men should only marry women who already have money, and if a woman isn’t earning, she’s a “liability.”? Your logic is amazing.”
She added, “By that standard, millions of men would also qualify as liabilities at different stages of life. Students, unemployed people, people starting businesses, people between jobs, are they all liabilities too? Or does the label only appear when the person is a woman?
“Do you know what a “liability” is? It means this person has no value and instead, drains value. Talking about women being “liabilities” when many men enter marriage with nothing but vibes, entitlement, and a phone charger is wild.”
“The same “liabilities” are the ones cooking, raising the kids, managing the home, supporting his career, and stretching one small salary to feed five people,” she concluded.
Another user identified as @CovenantofUs introduced a new perspective explaining that culture built around evaluating partners eventually stops building marriages.
The user wrote, “Standards are fine. But a culture built entirely around evaluating partners eventually stops building marriages. I think it is more important to both be running the same script and be pointed in the same direction as a team. Relationship requires growth to last, not just the perfect partner.”
